Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Engaging a Young Adult during Summer Months

Adrianne M. Schinkai


It’s hard to believe, but soon all the advertising for back to school will begin (if it hasn’t already). As this was my first summer as a mother (of an adopted 11-year-old girl), all I can say is I can’t wait. Like many parents of children of all ages, I absolutely love and adore my child, but I am ready for that break where classes take over their daily agenda while I am busy taking care of my own business during the hours of 9 to 5. I think the biggest issue that made this summer more exhausting is that my daughter and I are opposites when it comes to keeping busy. She loves video games. I love reading. She’s an extrovert. I am quite introverted. She gets bored easily. I can always find something to catch my interest.

This was my biggest battle over the summer as she expected me to fill her schedule with things to do. I told her multiple times during errands and events to “bring a book just in case.” The result of such a statement was always an eye roll. An hour or two later, I would hear the statement “I’m bored” in return. My ultimate resolve was to tell her that it wasn’t my problem, she was old enough to come prepared, and eventually, she would get the message.

While there is a good part of me that thinks that my daughter is just not open-minded and stubborn about trying new things, there is another part of me that thinks that the things she lies are just very different from what I like. Maybe she really isn’t a fan of reading. Well, how do I keep her brain engaged over the summer? She was overly dramatic when I mentioned the words “summer reading program,” and I certainly was not about to let her play video games on the Play Station and her tablet for seven hours a day! Instead, I tried engaging her in other interests to keep the gears in her brain turning.

I sat down with her to see what different things she liked. What were her interests? Well, she loves to swim like a fish, so we’ve gone to the beach a few times. She likes to paint and draw, so we’ve pulled out the art supplies and gotten creative, which we’ve topped off with a trip to the Detroit Institute of Arts to get inspired. She loves to build and create things, as she’s shown me with all her buildings in Minecraft. As soon as she heard that I knew how to crochet, she asked me if she could get her own pink yarn and hook and teach her some stitches. When she saw her father using the program DuoLingo to learn how to speak Spanish, she pulled out her notes from her language class the previous year of school and held basic conversations with him. She’s pulled out games like Sorry and Jenga on multiple occasions and got us all to play after dinner.

The other thing I had to realize was that my daughter’s curiosity may come out naturally after a while without me doing anything to stoke it. I lay on the couch the other night watching the first episode of the revamped series, “Cosmos.” I could see her eyes dancing towards the images of the stars and planets as she asked me who Neil DeGrasse Tyson was and what was so special about the Big Bang Theory. Instead of answering, I scooted over on the couch and she cuddled up as we learned about the beginning of the universe. I’d have to pay attention and look for her eyes dancing again. She may not say that she has an interest, but if I offer it to her, maybe she’ll engage with me.

This afternoon I’m searching the library catalog to see if there are a couple books, DVDs, and other items that will get her excited to explore beyond what the internet offers. I know I’m going to have to put my foot down daily in that respect. But if I let her be and only push slightly (as opposed to all the time), maybe her own sense of curiosity will get the better of her and engage her brain all on her own. It may be my only hope until school starts up again next month.

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